Monday, March 08, 2004
Sunday, March 07, 2004
As we approach surgery 5, I am a mass of grim resignation. I don't think many of the people we cross paths with in our everyday life realize the significance of what is happening. This injury and rehab is our daily reality. It is not all consuming, but is pretty damn close. For the last 7 years we have lived and breathed erb's palsy. Every daily activity from eating, brushing his teeth, and washing his hair; every toy; everything!!! has been rated and assessed. Some of the movements have been practiced and worked on for years, we can't be like normal parents in the toy isle. Every toy and craft/activity is held up for inspection - will this promote and detract from fine motor skills? does he have enough finger/wrist/bicep strength to play with something and if so is it something that will allow him to build up strength or will it support a certain level/plateau? (FYI transformers and star wars guys are great for fine motor skill development)
Then comes Tyler's dreams, his everyday pain, growing pains made worse by what is shaping up to be a deformed shoulder. And there is nothing we can do to make everything "all better" It's not like a broken arm that heals, or an area that rights itself over time. It is neverending - forever. There will always be something to work on.
This time around Tyler is older - he's asking more questions and not the type with answers - "who's going to die first? me, you, or daddy? if I die first will there be someone with God who will tuck me in at night? will God have toys? if we were all going to die, who would you save? me or daddy? will they put "the mask" on me to make me sleep? where will you and daddy be while i'm sleeping?
Tyler has also, suddenly, become very helpless. needing Kerry or myself to be engaged with him in everything.
unfortunately a lot of the people around us have witnessed our reality for so long they have not only become numb to it, we have become the "roll your eyes" "here it comes again" joke. I'm sorry our everyday had become this joke for you Carl, however your attitude and opinion don't alter our reality.
What you don't seem to understand is that as the average birth weight of babies goes up and the basic pelvic structure and bone size of women doesn't change Brachial Plexus injuries are on the rise. And dr.'s will cover their ass every time. There is also DECADES of medical training that has been falsified and taught. But, to understand all of that in perspective would require thought, now wouldn't it?
So, why write all this down? Especially in a blog few ever read? I guess to say don't ask us "How is ...(fill in the blank)?" unless you are really interested in the answer - because we will honestly tell you. and just pretending to be interested in the answer does nothing but waste our time.
On a different note : God has showered us with blessings lately through Kerri Sparkman. Thank you Kerri, for being the godly woman you are.
Friday, December 12, 2003
Monday, October 27, 2003
still have cold/flu. this just adds more to the usual feeling of fatigue and normal everyday migraines are just a bit more intense. Fun. i have to ask, when i look around me and see all the work i have yet to do (in the house, community, family etc..), and i know i don't have the energy or physical stamina to do even 1/4 of it, why am i still here?
Friday, October 24, 2003
Where to begin. Week of Oct. 13 started with me finding a lump in my breast and ended with me rushing Mrs. Mumm (the church/school office lady at Ty's school) to the ER because she had had two heart attacks and had passed out and fallen and hit her head. She has a shiner, and will for some time, but after quickly being careflighted to SA and having some repair work done she is home and seems ok (just weak). Thank you God!!! Then Kerry decided to go ahead and take down the large tree in front of our house that was dying. This was a project that took several days and had me praying that he didn't fall off the roof.
This week started with Tyler getting sick and then proceeding to give me his cold, and ended with a mammogram and sonogram FUN!! Kerry has been in Chicago this week and we are waiting for him to come home right now. I don't know if I can handle any more fun and considering next week is halloween that will be a challenge.
On the upside I did enjoy Nathan and Jeremiah on Sunday. It was a real blessing.
Thursday, June 26, 2003
Tyler and I met up with his physical therapist yesterday. She is seeing dramatic changes through what we are doing. I'm probably giving him a bit more weight to work with than is customary but it seems to be working. Thank you God!!!
I have been baking pies, carrot cakes etc... for the Comfort farmer's market that sells every Saturday. Which means I bake for 2 days straight every week. Am I crazy?
My last ovary has become a cyst making machine. I'm going to try and make it through the summer but it's becoming quite annoying. Unfortunately this means I'm about to go through early menopause, so pray for Kerry's sanity.
Friday, May 16, 2003
Been enjoying the musings of Dorothy Parker today.( Thanks Nick ) You can find quite a few of her poems at americanpoems.com
This week was Kerry's birthday.(May 14) And currently we are gearing up for Chris and Mandy's wedding (Tyler's the ringbearer)